The Woes of Modern Dating John April 5, 2019 Relationship The modern world is a complex place where not everything is always as it seems. With many challenges, new ways of thinking and perceiving things, the social conventions regarding activities like dating can become overwhelming. That’s especially true if you must consider numerous factors, such as trying your best not to look bad or offend anyone. It almost goes beyond the simple but potentially quite troublesome worries about who pays the bill at the restaurant. But in truth, the dating business is no small thing nowadays, and no easy task to perform. A lot of people compare it to a form of art. Some would even say that plenty of finesse is necessary as well as a great deal of stone-cold, methodical decision-making. If so, the supporters of this strategic approach can look for inspirations in various places, such as books about tactics, the famous thoughts written by Sun Tzu, chess techniques and other games where math and planning play a big part. Regarding the latter, poker is a game that requires a set of skills that can become helpful when trying to pick up a girl. There might even be a lesson there about maintaining patience, focusing on or reading each other’s body language and facial expressions if only to make sure it all heads in the right direction smoothly. While some of the seemingly uncomplicated interactions we all do daily may come naturally to most of us, they could become uncomfortable to those who struggle with social anxieties. For them, developing intimacy with someone is a hard thing to do. But you don’t need to be socially awkward to experience difficulties. In this complex, modern world, it can be a little tricky to meet somebody special and exciting or even compatible. People are so different that not every encounter works so well, or you find someone with whom you click. Of course, finding a true soulmate (if you believe in that sort of thing) shouldn’t be about having everything in common, but a relationship is better when built on solid ground. Thus, it is crucial to have something to connect on, such as shared interests, similar opinions about the world or like-minded beliefs and values. Naturally, as society has developed a great deal, evolving as a multifaceted platform for a variety of views, concepts and ideas about life, in doing so, it has also changed the way we look at things. Such changes affect many areas, and dating is no exception. Evidently, it isn’t a surprise that perceived roles for men and women in society, so much different than they used to be not too long ago, would have a substantial impact on socializing and searching for love. Not everyone has the same expectations about their future, which makes a lot of room for misunderstandings. But because we are living in such complicated times, people have acquired strong defensive mechanisms that sometimes prevent them from opening up to new people and experiences. As a result, it’s not always easy for one to lower their guard and leave their comfort zone. It’s even harder to place your trust in, presumably, a complete stranger. But the fact is without it, building a successful relation is quite impossible. The general idea of love and romance seem to have evolved as well, although reflections about those things seem like an individual matter. Such opposite notions can often clash with each other, causing serious disagreements, and in the long run, this could determine the future of a relationship (or lack of). So, as a result, even the most compatible pair needs to face the question about “Where is this union heading?” and “What do I want out of it?” Then, too, there is the infamous fear of commitment, which is a major concern for many struggling couples. What’s more, is that sometimes people get into dating for the wrong reasons: Only to feel less alone with no intention to put in real effort. But why is it that looking for somebody to spend at least part of your life together should be such a hardship? The answer is it doesn’t have to be. In some cases, meeting new people has never been easier. The internet provides us with plenty of opportunities to talk to and introduce ourselves to communities of like-minded individuals. So, no matter what interests, hobbies and opinions you have, you can find someone who thinks in a similar way. Then, too, there are websites for casual dating like the Tinder app that make it far less difficult to cut straight to the chase. However, talking with potential romantic prospects online is different than face-to-face conversation, so it may require a unique approach like special flirting skills that fit the situation. Perhaps, the problem with dating today starts with the need to be in a relationship. Or maybe we try too hard. Either way, to be able to “survive” modern dating, we need to get our lives in order first and try not to put as much pressure on everything we do to attract someone and let it happen more naturally.